Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Blocked

I was born in the year 1988 in an era where communication was a simple and yet difficult. There was no internet, no e-mail system, no WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype and not even cellular phones. The technology of communication was primitive.

So how did people communicate during these times? How did people keep in touch with each other? What was the method of communication? How long would it take for the other person to respond? 
So many questions... with so many variable answers. 

The modern day of communication is highly dependent on the "Internet' and without this, we would still be living in a Stone Age of Communications. Gone are the days where sending Post Cards was considered 'romantic' (This is still practiced by a very niche audience and it's still considered a true form a communication). Gone are the days where you would need to be at home or workplace to call someone or wait for someone to call you. Gone are the days where someone 'paged' you to call them back. Gone are the days where writing an urgent letter to someone situated in the other side of the world would take days to reach them and who knows... by the time it reaches them, time would have already taken its natural course. With such difficulties, communication was still strong and people found sanity in such dark times.

Our patience in communication was tested.

As we grow older, we tend to migrate away from home. It's quiet common for teenagers and young adults to explore. There are plenty of reasons revolving around this. It can be for education, travel, work, vacation, nirvana, in search for love... But somehow your heart is still bonded to - a place with family, your wife and kids, friends and a place which you call - Home. Staying connected with loved ones was challenging and yet considered to be at it's purest during these times.

 "Home is where the heart is."

Coming back to the 21st century, communicating with people has been easy. One of giants of communication and communication technology has been Facebook. Taking over Orkut in the early 2000s, this started off as a college project by couple of wasted and lazy teenagers and over the past decade has become an global internet giant. It served as a modern and fast-tracked platform of communication, business and news. With Facebook also came WhatsApp. A simple instant messaging application. Somehow, it got hold of the emotional and physical comfort of being in touch with your loved ones, it helped the people at their weakest and provided support when you needed the most. Through Facebook we can call someone anywhere in the world, chat to your loved ones, video call someone whom you wish to see dearly, get instant replies, share pictures, upload videos, connect with friends easily, spread awareness quickly, emergencies are swiftly dealt with, observe the world from just a screen, get to know what the world around you is up to, etc. Over a decade of evolution, Facebook and other social media giants have got so many mediums to stay connected.

I am lucky to be born in this era. I really am. Communicating with family, with my Girlfriend, with friends, reading reviews, watching movies, listening to online music, video calling, chatting, etc. it feels so positive.  I use Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, LinkedIn almost everyday. There's not a day that goes by when I haven't used these social medias. All thanks to Wi-fi and Internet Connection! It feels great that I am always connected with loved ones... I can chat with them, share photos, forward a joke I just read, ask for advice, get to see how they're doing, know what they are up to. It feels that "Home" is with you where ever you go.

Somehow with all positive aspects of communication comes the a button to produce negative effects. The easiness of communication brings forth so many challenges and somehow we become quiet dependent with this. We have built something like a command button to just throw away people from your life. With just a click of the button you or someone or even someone close to you can be 'deleted' from someone's profile. The can be applied to any social networking site and application. I am not going to touch upon the professional reasons for this act. Instead let's focus on a more personal level. It has been abused quiet often yet unintentionally. We can now block the people whom you love OR used to love, we can get blocked for unknown reasons, people can block you for their own protection, for spamming you, or stalking you, can get or be blocked for the sense of control etc. I read somewhere that there are two primary psychological thoughts for Blocking. One is pragmatic (protecting self from stronger people), and the other is performative (carrying out a symbolic act to feel strong). I would also term this button as simply saying - "I Hate You". Furthermore the other reasons, the common ones to get blocked are - 

  1. Ending a Relationship
  2. Inappropriate Language
  3. Spamming
  4. Harassment
  5. Stalking
  6. Inappropriate Photos
  7. Vanity
  8. Drama
  9. Religion
  10. Politics
Relationships are fragile. It takes years to develop a certain bond with someone but it takes minutes to destroy it. The same goes for respect and trust. With such variables in communication also develops a sense of arrogance to one's nature. It is quiet arrogant on someone's part to assume they need to justify their reason to you for taking the extra step. They should also have no obligation to do this but still by being insistent, that there is an obligation would explain this particular case and why they felt the need to Block you. In other words and very simply said, if there's no explanation to why someone would block you makes me question my integrity. The Block Command is a privilege given to you and it is not meant to be abused every time you end up in a fight or breaking the hard earned respect and trust you develop over time with someone, or a mistake which could have been communicated or spoken about like adults. How can one button cause so much stress? 

Such cracks in the system of communication become bigger over time and it takes a lot time to fix them. The bigger the problem, the harder the solution also. I feel this world of communication has become so pseudo-materialistic that we are going out of control with our emotions being splashed all over these social networking sites. Commands like 'Like', 'Share', Emoticons, Emojis, Block, Unfriend, have taken away human emotions and transformed them into a computer graphical representation of human nature. Our very existence is converted into binary data and we are very close to become artificial intelligence. The above mentioned commands have taken away and dismantled the very fabric of our human nature into a button and icon. We forget communication - how it was?, How much of a struggle would it have been not knowing what the other person was up to, how expensive it would have been to just send a letter across seas, how difficult it would have been to buy a post stamp, and how luxurious it would have been to click a photo through a Camera Obscura or a Kodak. You just wouldn't know how much you can miss a person or people whom you love so dearly and wholeheartedly - each and everyday, how many times that person comes into your mind, and how many memories are floating inside your head. Such emotions can be explained by simple communication and not make all of it so complicated by this. Can all of this be explained and be understood through just one button/icon?  

In today's world, communication is quick, being in touch with someone close to you through technology brings happiness, staying in touch is easy... But are we really truly connected?


Our patience in communication is declining.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

The so called 'Gulf Life'

I've been in the Gulf for major part of my life. My parents, especially my Father in his mid 20s, started working in Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, U.A.E and later on in Oman. During the 80s, life in the Middle East was filled with massive opportunities. There was huge scope for business in this region. Plenty of Indians, Asians and Europeans started their careers here. The market was growing rapidly and the Gulf was getting richer which continued even till the 2000s.The Gulf is and has been a 'Booming' market.

I lived in Muscat during the 90s till almost a decade. Only a couple of years old, one wouldn't remember much about that life. Growing up through your preteens, I came across making friends in school, around my home areas and building extended families by celebrating togetherness. Every weekend was an evening of laughter, happiness and fun, exploring new beaches, surfing the sand dunes and the long drives. It may have not been every weekend but it sure felt like that. As a child, I really enjoyed staying in Muscat - Oman's capital city. It's the Caribbean of the Middle East. Muscat and Mumbai share quiet almost the same attributes geographically and environmentally. Beaches on all sides, mountains towards the northern region, humid coastal weather and the Arabian Desert on the other. 

I couldn't see the struggles of the work environment and isn't that obvious? As a child, in that age, I was happy inside this box and it didn't feel small. I didn't understand the dynamics of such an environment and I had no idea how life existed outside this box. My Father gave me a happy beginning to the so called 'Gulf Life' and to that I would always be grateful. Some lessons are best learned through time... Never had my parents shown me the struggles of this so called 'Gulf Life' society. After living in Muscat for almost a decade my life transformed. My teenage life had to be eventually spent in Mumbai. Rebuilding a new life mentally and emotionally was always going to be a struggle. This struggle was inevitable. Making new friends again, meeting new people again, going to a new school, wearing a tie for the first time, the humidity, the monsoons, traveling on public transport, learning a new language, everything changed and it was quite contrasting from the Muscat environment. I really wanted to go back to Muscat and at times, I was so frustrated that I gave my parents really a hard time and complain of my inability to adapt. I didn't quiet understand why the shift happened or what was the point of all this and why at this point in time of my life had to change where everything seemed so good and quickly taken all this away from me. I realized this after few many years later, that I was being selfish, inconsiderate and stubborn in every way. The transition was quick but the adaptability was slow.

Somehow it was better... for my sake.

As an adult, working here in Qatar... I can imagine how my Father survived. Each and every day, staying away from family, exploring the unknown, understanding a new culture, it's mentally stressful, emotionally - a struggle and physically challenging. Once you experience the true nature of the environment you will know how it feels. I had to experience this, I wanted to know what changed, why the transition? Why was everything taken away from me? These unanswered questions that I asked my parents were answered... Over time and with experience. That's the so called Gulf Life. It's a life that makes you think not just once or twice but keeps repeating the question to oneself time and again of what you thought as a child, what kind of fairy tale imagination I was under and as we grow older, we get wiser and become more realistic. What I had in the mind as young child is not the same of what I think as an adult. Even though I started off my career a bit later compared to my Father, somehow our personalities and attitude towards life, love, business, career, education differed. Was it because of change in environments? Was it because of external factors or was I too naive to the change. He's blessed with an aggressive attitude and I've been cursed with a sensitive personality. Our dynamics are profoundly uncanny and if I were to compare it with a simple marketing analysis then it would be like his strengths are my threats and his weaknesses are my opportunities. A generation has passed from the gulf and yet 'The Gulf Life' still remains by enlarge almost the same. People all over the world keep coming to this region, not just for financial reasons but it's also for one's future stability. Back in Mumbai, people still believe this a land of opportunities, a land that will benefit them for their future and create a sense of stability in all aspects. But then again, some people still come to their homeland and allow another set of generation to take this test of life... the so called 'Gulf Life'.

Somehow it's fate?

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Games and Imagination (Part 2)

In my mind:

[What a party! After such a long time... spending time with Family, meeting new people, dancing freely, singing bollywood songs, drinking with joy... last night was an amazing experience. Why can't every night be this way? Why can't I have this experience everyday? Well, if it's always that way, then it'll loose its flavor and eventually I'll get bored of it... But I hope every weekend begins like that or at least some part of it...]

9:00 am - Oh boy, What a hangover, My head hurts like crazy... but I gotta wake up... I've gotta do my shores, make some breakfast, clean my room, change the bed sheets... Urgh So many pending things... I don't have any ironed clothes for the coming week, gotta start ironing as soon as possible so that I can get to playing Final Fantasy XV. Today's the day for the New Timed Quest! I wonder which beast I gotta beat, how strong is the boss? How many points will get by playing this quest? Will I get some deadly weapon? Damn... I'm so excited! Gotta finish ironing first... but before that... It's bath time! 

10:30 am - Hmm... Breakfast... first meal of the day... just like Final Fantasy, before starting a new quest, you gotta get energized and stay revitalized. But the hangover still there, but not as much... No wonder they say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It gets rid of the hangover... and now that breakfast is over I'll start playing Final Fantasy... I gotta complete this game and I just can't wait to explore this huge open world. Oh wait... I gotta iron my clothes, clean my room, change my bed sheets... Argh!! So many things still pending.

12:00 pm - Finally, I've sparkled my room, looks new and fresh! The scented candles really helped, the new bed sheets feel so soft and now I feel like dozing off... But I don't want to! I wanna play Final Fantasy... I wanna get my character stronger and explore the world further. I read earlier about this secret dungeon and I'm curious about what I'll find. Before I can do that I need to iron my formals! Oh man time's running to so fast...

1:30 pm - Is it Lunch time already? I'm hungry now and I still haven't even started playing the game?! I think I'll just skip lunch. What the hell man?! My colleagues are here... asking me to join them for a drink. What do I say? 

5:00 pm - Well, this feels good, sitting with colleagues, listening to music. I just love listening to the classics and that's how we enjoy the evening. You just wanna listen to your favorite track. Music is an experience that makes you forget everything else and helps you relax. When you listen to your favorite music, the mind just adapts it as a part of the lyrics and you get to experience each and every beat. Your heart sings to the music, you mind experiences the the beats and this brings a sense of euphoria to oneself. Still,  I really wanna play my game. I wanna play Final Fantasy but I'm so high and I cannot figure out the buttons of my controller. I think I'll just doze off for a while but till I wanna play.  I'm so curious and eager to explore this fantasy world. To my my character and his comrades stronger and better. So many things in the way, it's such an annoyance. 

9:30 pm - Finally! I'm alone. I can start playing final fantasy. But now I'm hungry. I'll just order for something now... anyways till then I'll start with the game. 

It begins...

After all the patience, after all the hurdles and after all the drama, a gamer finally gets time to play what he/she wants. Games nowadays are massive, it involves a lot of data, it provides you with a lot of opportunities and there are so many things that you can explore. You enter a world where time just skips, and by the time you see a clock, it's already past midnight and then you realize that you've got work the next day. Somehow I choose to ignore the clock...

I enter a world where my imagination becomes my reality. I may be sitting in one place for hours and seem like not doing much, but my mind working continuously with the game and is part of that game. This is where I think of what's called a Matrix. Once you enter this world, it seems inevitable to get up, think anything beyond that because it's massive as i mentioned earlier.

How can I get lost into One Game?

I really don't know the exact answer to this but more or less it's the gaming experience that gets the gamer lost inside a game. I think its the same kind of experience when you feel when you listen to music. It's not just one or two music or tracks that you get lost into but instead there are many. Games like Final Fantasy is a collection of your favorite music, the more you explore and experience, it controls your world of imagination and decreases the space between real and unreal. Gaming is an experience, you cannot express through words... One has to play the game and feel it.  

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Games of Imagination (Part 1)

Imagination is a child's most innocent behavior. During that imagination, every thought, every behavior, every action has a story of excitement which is indeed 'Oscar Winning'. Fighting imaginary dragons, climbing up tall mountains, playing a cop, driving a super-fast car or navigating a warship... being a kid was fun.

As a child, I was quiet energetic and a bit of a rebel. I loved watching cartoons and action movies and in the 90s it was all about Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Van Damme. Their movies were so awesome! They will always be 'Legends'. I imagined myself acting as John Connor and the Terminator coming to rescue me from that shiny, shape changing Metal Man (the teacher). One day, while going to class I was day dreaming about this and then when I reach the classroom I tell my Teacher, "I'll be back". She gave me that death stare, picked up the wooden scale and yelled at me to come forward in front of the entire class and open the palm of my hands. (You know what comes next...)

Sometimes an imagination would just be a mix of few movies and cartoons. I used to imagine being a Karate Kid with superpowers or a Power Ranger! I loved the Power Rangers, their kick ass stunts, turning into huge machine dinosaurs, beating evil mutants, jumping here and there, doing a cart-wheel on the middle of the road... it was so childish! Plus it wasn't just me who imagined being Power Ranger, even my friends did. We were a group of tiny Power Rangers re-imagining the episodes we watched on TV.
While growing up, I came across many imaginary friends, some with special powers, some an alter-ego, some just to blame at, some crazy adventures with oneself... but as we grew older, our imagination became less imaginative and we started dreaming about something more realistic. Thus began the shift from Fairy Tale imagination to a more Realistic imagination.

Welcome to the World of Gaming...

So... Why do Guys love their games so much? How can one individual get themselves involved for so many hours staring at a screen and get so lost in this fantasy world?

I've come across a handful of women who ask me these questions whenever I get engrossed with video games. Some of them are...

How come you guys forget that you have a girlfriend?
How and Why is your game so important than me?
What so good about this game?
Why don't you just get up and help me in the Kitchen?
Will you pause and look at me? I'm talking to you! 

For the last question, I've read somewhere that when a guy pauses his video game for a gal... Marry him!

Women find it difficult to understand, the basic emotions when a guy plays his video game, how much it means to him, how much of a struggle he has to overcome to achieve a goal, a task/puzzle that needs to be strategically completed, be victorious when you face a boss battle and what kinda of craze he has gone through to become a strong character inside the game. Well the struggle is real... (Virtually)  

The answers to all these questions are deep rooted and starts at a very young age.

Flashback
During my pre-teen years, My parents gifted me video games and consoles at a very young age, first of them - The Nintendo, followed by Atari (Classic Console Game). These consoles were the beginning of converging the Realistic and Fairy Tale Imaginations. I remember the very first game I played was Super Mario on the Nintendo (Till date, Mario is a world-famous video game character and one of the most famous Japanese Mascots). So why is he so famous? How is he a mix of Realistic and Fairy Tale Imaginations? Well, simply because he's a plumber (a realistic, low paying, dirty job) who has a brother name Luigi and over the years his main goal is to rescue the love of his life (who keeps getting kidnapped) - Princess Peach by various villains like Bowser and Tatanga.  
Another realistic fact here is, Mario is not hunk or a dude or a macho man... he's a fat and short Italian-looking bloke who sacrifices his day-time job as a plumber just to rescue his love - Peach (She loves getting rescued and kidnapped I guess... but still loves Mario) Over the years, the basic goal of the game was - rescue the kidnapped and beat the kidnapper. In this adventure, he has made many friends along the way - Yoshi the cute looking green dragon, Mario can ride on him like a horse... some cool Anti-Heroes like Wario and Warluigi and many more...
These games were simple, easy to learn and competitive. At that age, he was my hero!
Here's a look at some of the most famous characters in the Super Mario Games.


I played Mario when it used look like this -


The latest 2017 game looks like this - The Transformation!



During the Mario-age, few more games peeked my interest. Especially Contra.  
Contra was the first 2-player game that I fell in love with. During my summer and winter school vacations, my parents used to send me to Mumbai where I lived with 'Dida' - My ever-loving Grandmother. Over there, I didn't have a group of friends but instead build friendships with my next door neighbors with Dida's help. Since I loved video gaming so much, she bought me a Nintendo NES. After my home-work (Mom used to fill a book with Math Questions for me to solve and make me practice whenever she's not around... Mathematics was not my strong subjects... It's still isn't);
I went up to my neighbors asking if Chintu and Pooja were there? Pooja was my very first female gamer friend. She was also a Tom-boy. [I'm sure she must have grown up to be beautiful (gamer) gal! :)] We used to sit for hours and play Contra. Time use to just fly, felt like the days were running short and saving a game was inevitable. (During those days, you couldn't save a game and continue later, you had to start from the beginning all over again - Hence the Struggle!)
(Every evening, seeing the below visual screen on the TV with Chintu and Pooja used to just make me so happy!)
 
What is Contra? 
Contra is about two dudes running through various Jungles and Underground Bases, killing different aliens, henchman. collecting some really cool and unique guns and fighting the ever-glorious Boss Battles. With every level, the game got tougher and faster. Another unique feature of the game was that if One of player dies, the 2nd player continues... (Chintu and Pooja were better gamers than me)

How is this a mix of Fairy Tale and Realistic Imagination?
Oh just play the game with a friend!

Somehow, while playing the same sort of video games, it got quiet monotonous with 8-bit, 16-bit graphics and then in one my birthdays, Dad gifted me my first computer with Microsoft Windows 95. I played so many games like, Need for Speed, Monster Truck, Road Rash, Frogger, Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, to name a few... the graphics were new and refreshing. Better than the previous gaming consoles I've played. All of these games where quiet non-sensible and with new games coming out every day, my interest kept going fading away because there was so many games and at that time and age, you didn't have YouTube where you can view the game play or read reviews to judge how good the game is... You simply just bought the game without any R and D. There were some games like Need for Speed that helped me understand a bit of driving, road sense and understanding direction signs. It got further interesting when Microsoft introduced controllers and the biggest brand was the Sidewinder.

Below are the controllers that I've used.





This allowed me to play games that ranged from Flight Simulator, Car Racing Games and Arcade Gaming and the feeling of using a unique controller made the gaming experience even more energizing. This was the start of the Next-Generation gaming and the start to a whole new era...

The thrill slowly started to fade away with some games being more like puzzles and GK types. These games were more like a single player games and the other player was the computer.

Few years later and as I entered the troubled teenage life, I still played games but not as much. I still kept dreaming  of become a rebellious sorcerer, a capped crusader, a super saiyan... etc. When I shifted to Mumbai, I came across this superb car-(sort off, b'coz it used to flip over and shoot machine and laser guns)-action game called Rollcage.

This game allowed up to 4-players to play on a single-screen. I got all my building friends to come over to my home and play Rollcage. It was awesome and the feeling was amazing! After so many years, I finally found myself playing a video game with friends. My interest in gaming kick-started but this game was developed only for PC during that time.

The problem with PC gaming are the shit-loads of viruses, hard disk crashes, Auto Shut Downs, Buffers and the worst of it was the PC getting "Hanged".  Due to these errors, there came another beauty - The PlayStation which is primarily only for Gaming. I owned a PlayStation One but after few months of playing, my imagination for gaming, my fantasy of living in the virtual world faded and I began adding responsibilities... Basically I just grew older and my teenage life was coming to an end. There wasn't any space for my imagination to go wild, there were upcoming exams, tutorials, college projects, relationships, more friends, exploration possibilities, Internet, movies, TV shows and many more that have side tracked this part of life.


Somehow, the inner child still sleeps...
Lying dormant,
Waiting to wake up
When the time is right and the Game in sight.

Over the years the PlayStation has evolved drastically and now you can play music, connect with friends, watch Netflix, watch movies, join gaming communities, share images, videos, chat and many more! - that's now the PS4

Present Day... to be contd.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Storytelling by an Uncanny Inspiration



Hello Again,

There are some people in life that inspire you to become something, and there are some people in life that help you not become something. These people may stay in your life and may move out completely without saying Goodbye.

Either ways, its still a 'Life Lesson'.

My blogs have been a mirror reflection of my thoughts, some are true, some false and some, just a dream that never existed. A dream which is best remembered to be forgotten.

I started blogging almost a decade back... and most of them are written with just emotions mixed up, thoughts that are scattered like a shattered timepiece. You take one instance, a certain 'Time period' (timepiece), glue it with another time and make a story out of it. I think I've been a good storyteller, most of my stories being fiction and some of them being made through an experience.

When you mix these shattered timepieces you develop something which is profoundly surreal. In my defense, it was a work of fiction. Something that i made up because I am a good Storyteller.

But isn't that how Storytelling works?

In all these storytelling, there comes people who inspire you to write these works of fiction. Either you accept this, or you deny the very existence of inspiration. But you cannot... not by a long-shot.

Inspiration comes in all different forms. It can be people you come across, nature that you feel, a movie you just watched, a song you listened to, a video game you played...

But with all the inspiration, you have to embrace it. And when you do that... It's still incomplete. (to be contd... one day)

Love

If I could have just one wish,  I would wish to wake up everyday  to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine...   Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

A lonely paradox

Sitting alone in this dark but energetic place and watching people as they enter an evening of unity. Peers, colleagues, friends, lovers and family, how can one be so alone? Their laughter, jokes, happiness with so many conversations about their lives, surrounded by loneliness, being the black sheep in social gatherings, I wonder what to do? A punishment for an introvert. I wonder what they're talking about, some speaking in English and some in their local language. You only understand their language of expression. You can only listen to the tone of their voices. Three hours of waiting alone, feeling the love around, wish there was some to receive. Hearing their voices overpowering ones thoughts, feeling the vibes one cannot entangle with... An evening of blues without the alcohol, how does one bypass this paradox?

Battle of the Heart and Mind

It's difficult to express thoughts into complete meaningful sentences. The constant battle between the heart and mind is somehow a metaphor that best describes the battle between good and evil. You won't realize which side wants the best of you. On one side, the heart provides an emotional comfort which revolves around to give you a result driven by kindness, anger, happiness and sadness while on the other side the mind is driven by ones intellect, analytical, logic and experience. Between the two, they find a common ground of dispute - Fear.  The heart fears what the mind can do and vice versa. Fear installs the Good and Evil in ones mind and heart.   When ones thoughts are in sync, you can easily communicate with your inner self. But when they're not, thoughts seem to just mix itself into oblivion.

Monday, May 13, 2013

He wasn't worth...

There are many things that I express in this blog and most of the times I blog under a state of depression and anxiety. I really wished that the movie 'Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind' were true and part of reality. The events in that movie run parallel within my life. If only there could be a way in which I could remove the fondest memories of my life and replace them fake memories, but at the end of the day, memories are just a state of the mind that cannot be controlled.

She was the best and worst thing to him,
The eyes of a seductress,
A touch of eastern beauty,
An angel fallen from heaven,
The most divine,
Worshiping her would only prove fatal,
She's faced a million hurdles, 
And he was just half of her problems.

She will be loved,
She will be hated,
But you just cannot ignore her.
She will drive you crazy,
With her words,
Her hair,
Her sublime presence in this world.
His love for her in a million folds,
Still, he does...

She moved on,
He couldn't,
She wanted more,
And he wasn't good enough..
In times of her toughest days,
He flew all the way, just to support her,
She wanted love,
She wanted comfort,
She wanted someone to be with her,
He couldn't give her much,
He wasn't worth...

He showered her with gifts,
But nothing is enough,
It was invaluable for her,
She wanted more,
She wanted something better,
She wants love,
She wants happiness,
She wanted him,
But he was never there,
He wasn't worth...

He wished things could get better,
She didn't love him anymore,
But he truly loved her,
How can one stop loving someone all of a sudden?

They still talk,
They still chat,
They still message,
But it doesn't feel the same,
She's moved on,
He's still moving on,
He wants her to be happy,
He wants her to keep laughing,
He wants her to stay strong,
Still... He wasn't worth.

If only he could understand, that some memories are better off forgotten.
Because.. It isn't worth it.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Dominoes Season 1 Episode 8

Flashback....

I've never been a very social person, not very talkative and quite moody at times... Actually I wasn't like this at all. As a young lad, I was quiet talkative and hyperactive. Was it the young blood inside me or was it the boost of all the chocolates that drove me hyper?

Umm... One of the cons of having a very bad memory is that you wouldn't remember anything from your past until someone from your past tells you or gives you a subtle hint.

Anyways, I wonder why I've changed and what happened? Somehow I thought it was the switch in cities. After a long time in the city of Muscat, my parents and I shifted base to Mumbai. Was it the environment, new friends... a new home?

I don't know why my subconscious mind underwent with all these changes?

Since the time I've come here, I've always sensed a hint of loneliness from this place. Maybe it was the aura or the pungent stink of garbage that flows here every morning at my house, my new home. But this home, this new city, is one of the best cities one can ever live in!

I've had some great times in this city but also I've had the other half too. I guess every teenager goes through a time of self knowledge in some point of their lives. You learn some, you gain some and you lose some. You might end up choosing the wrong side but you also have a choice to make. You may choose the wrong choice but still end up having another chance of a choice. Wtf is that all about??!?

But what's important is how you lose some. I'm sure no one likes to lose. To lose something or having lost something most valuable might either shatter your heart or it can be the best thing that's ever happened to you.

Simple words from an average person...