Monday, May 13, 2013

He wasn't worth it..

There are many things i express in this blog and most of the times i blog under the state of depression and anxiety. I really wish the movie 'Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind' were true. The events in that movie run parallel with my life. If only there could be a way in which i could remove the fondest memories of my life and replace them fake memories, but at the end of the day, memories are just a state of the mind which cannot be controlled.

She was the best and worst thing to him,
The eyes of a seductress,
A touch of eastern beauty,
An angel fallen from heaven,
The most divine,
Worshiping her would only be fatal,
She's faced a million hurdles, 
And he was almost half of her problems.

She will be loved,
She will be hated,
But you just cannot ignore her.
She will drive you crazy,
With her words,
Her hair,
Her sublime presence in this world.
He loved her a million folds,
Still does...

She moved on,
He couldn't,
She wanted more,
And he wasn't good enough..
In the times of her toughest days,
He flew all the way just to support her,
She wanted love,
She wanted comfort,
She wanted someone to be with her,
He couldn't give her much,
He wasn't worth...

He showered her with gifts,
But nothings enough,
It was invaluable for her,
She wanted more,
She wanted something better,
She wants love,
She wants happiness,
She wanted him,
But he was never there,
He wasn't worth.

He wished things could get better,
She didn't love him anymore,
He truly loved her,
But how can one stop loving someone all of a sudden?

They still talk,
They still chat,
They still message,
But it doesn't feel the same,
She's moved on,
He's still moving on,
He wants her to be happy,
He wants her to keep laughing,
He wants her to stay strong,

If only he could understand, That some memories are better off forgotten.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Dominoes Season 1 Episode 8

Flashback....

I've never been a very social person, not very talkative and quite moody at times.... Actually I wasn't like this at all. As a kid, i was very talkative and hyperactive. Was it the young blood inside me or was it the boost of the chocolates that drove me wild?

Ummmm... That's one of the cons of having a very bad memory. You wouldn't remember anything from your past until someone tells you or gives you a subtle hint.

Anyways, I dont know why i changed. Somehow i always thought it was the change in cities. My parents and I had come back to Hindutva. Was it the environment, new friends...new home? I dont know what my sub conscious mind underwent with all these changes?!

Since the time I've come here, I've always sensed a hint of loneliness from this place. Maybe it was the aura or the pungent stink of garbage that flows through here every morning in each and every corner of the city. But it's one of the best cities one can ever live in!!

I've had some great times in this city but also Ive had the other half too. I guess every teenager goes through a self knowledge phase in some point of their lives. You learn some, you gain some and you lose some. You might end up choosing the wrong side but you can also have a choice to make. You may choose the wrong choice and still end up having a choice. Wtf is that all about??!?

But what's important is how you lose some. I'm sure no one likes to lose. Losing something most valuable might either shatter your heart or it can be the best thing that's ever happened to you. Simple words from an average person...





Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Dominoes Season 1

Prologue:

It's been two years since I've wrote a blog. A lots of memories to share, a lot of problems to solve and a lot of things to think about. From the looks of it you must be thinking that its going to be a long long post. (Well, Yes! You can't expect me to give you a synopsis of a Life that hasn't been easy.) So I've made it easier for you to understand it. Have you seen any American/British Drama Shows? (Yeah, obviously you have!!)

If you have read my earlier posts then you would have a slight idea about me. For those who don't know me I would start by saying, "My name is Domino". I know Domino doesn't sound as an Indian name because its not. My real name is Dominic. I'm just fascinated by the "Domino Effect". So I usually call myself Domino. (oh you don't know what domino effect is?)

"The domino effect is a chain reaction that occurs when a small change causes a similar change nearby, which then causes another similar change, and so on in linear sequence."

And with this, my life's based pretty much over a simple domino effect.


Events of these episodes takes place in a cities of Hindutva and New Arabia City. (I know kinda stupid names to give in a fictional story..... Aaaaaa chuck it!)

Episode 1

December 2009, after an amazing New Years I got myself working in Social Media. I wondered how people earned money by just sitting on Facebook and Twitter. (Yeah I know! It's the best job in the world right now...!).

Meanwhile my love life wasn't going very well, and i hate to admit this but I was cheating.

I'm a Social Media addict, I started of with Orkut which was like "The biggest blockbuster of the Internet" and then Facebook just took over Orkut like a steamroller. I was also fascinated about the art of chatting and Internet dating. I was a curious teenager back then and i still am. Social Networking made a weird sense to me. Well as a teen your also curious about Sex. (so if you mix sugar and spice you'll get something really nice right?)

Yes it FCKING DID!!!!

One fine day, i randomly added a beautiful gal over Facebook. Her name was Kate Monroe. We connected instantly and exchanged phone numbers. It was quite surprising since we were complete strangers before this. I guess, the reason we connected was because she knew me from my school days. Apparently Kate and I were from the same school and she was my junior back then. I could hardly recognize her but she had a sharp memory and she just described the past and what I did in those good old school days. I loved hearing stories from the past (I have a weak memory for the past so.......yeah).
So we started dating soon and everything was going great....until the Domino Effect was initiated. (argh! i made one bad mistake okay....!!)

Before I go any further I'll tell you something about my good old Xavier College Days.

Episode 2

After Winterfel Junior College, I wanted to pursue Advertising so i decided to choose BMM which is Bachelors in Mass Media which included to Advertising and Journalism. I come from a science background and I had no interest pursuing in medicine or engineering. Advertising seemed a more reasonable and safe choice because i wasn't sure if I made the right choice (It was the best choice I ever made!!!)

Actually if I dig deeper you would also know that my first year of BMM wasn't very memorable.

During my Winterfel days I got mixed up with a very bad crowd. One of them was Archie. As an adolescent teen you wouldn't know what's the difference without self realization. There always comes a time in a man's life when you got to choose sides. (Imagine yourself standing between Heaven and Hell.....yeah I picture it like that).

In the first day of my first year in Xavier's College, I see my ex gf 'Chloe' from Winterfell college studying in the same class with me. It brought back memories of those days and that was the only relationship in which I just blew my fuse in front of a woman and she almost got herself to a verge of crying. (basically I had a bad temper and i really liked her but I had a very good reason for it which I mentioned in my earlier blog posts. Okay!! fine if I'll tell you, she cheated on me with my best friend and she couldn't even tell me that honestly.)

So coming back to that first day in Xavier's, I was like surprised. But then I asked myself why's she here? There's a reason for everything and as I thought for a while I came down to a conclusion that i need to apologize for my behavior and reconcile. So I did. I said, "Chloe, Im really really sorry! And I shouldn't have raised my voice over you and it was just rude and loud....." She looked at me with surprise and she forgave me somehow. (I think she curses me from her sleep)

Few days later I come to know she's dating my friends best friend! (Lol!!!)

We all met together for some drinks and I was kinda surprised that she drank whiskey. (that's what happens in a gap of 3-4 months, things change quicker than expected). So I became friends with these guys and we went together to unexplored cities of Hindutva here n there occasionally blah blah blah n moving on.............

Initially i was in good terms with Archie Greystone, but since the time he stole Chloe away from me I really wanted to kick his ass. But all's fair in love and war. (touché buddy touché!)

Archie came from an culturally influenced Hindu family, an animal lover and a profound flirt. (I still hate him somehow).

I kinda forgave him for what he did but he was a bad case of trouble. He carried a bad aura around him. I dont know how I got into the dark side. (yeah Star Wars type, kinda feel like he's Darth Vadar with a dildo as his light saber. Oh why the dildo? It's because he was a sex addict).

Archie did teach me a few things here and there, especially exploring the most weirdest and darkens spots in town. (It was like I visited the alleys of another realm). He also showed me how to be street smart. (I didn't steal from anyone and I'm not a con).

We had some good times together but somehow it all had to come down. Just like a domino effect.

Spoiler alert: Well those guys were the bad crowd.

Episode 3

Since the Xavier class mates were all new to each other they formed small groups and I feel that didn't belonged to any group. So I chose a group outside my circle. (You know I'm trying to tell you that it ultimately led me to choose the bad crowd because of a small issue which happened 4 years back right?)

I moved away from the Archie and his gang slowly, avoiding their calls, not meeting them, just few bday messages etc.

So I got a newfound friendship with the BMM guys and gals. Just buried the hatchet. I guess that's because of this one fat dude called Bob who was a new student in the second year. We used to call him Crazy Bob because he was funny and he had this good spiritual energy around him. He actually brought us together.

We went to resorts, outings, new towns of Hindutva together. Those were good times to remember.

I remember once we staying over after college playing the guitar, there were these college events and I saw this beautiful thin chick with wicket eyebrows and I was like WOW! Whose she?!? She's gorgeous and i instantly fell in love with her! (Well I'm obviously exaggerating I just found her sexy!)

Episode 4

So moving on to the second and third years which were like the beginning of the Golden Period. I'll always cherish those days.

I asked around and i overheard a conversation from the juniors nearby, they were talking about her n they said "Bro, don't even think about it, she's hardcore in love with someone else." My heart was shattered!! (hahahahah so FCKING dramatic!!)

Well after the whole jr college episode I decided I'll treat a woman with respect and I made these small subconscious rules.

One of the rules is "NOT TO PURSUE WHAT'S ALREADY BAKING" (I know that didn't make sense, I meant not to go after someone else's gal. Plus I didn't even know her name at that point. Only thing I remembered were those eyes!).

So I looked away and I got into one memorable relationship with Zoey the super smart woman whose now happily married to a really handsome guy. Oh and they also have a baby!! I'm really happy for them. (I'll discuss Zoey some other time)

Episode 5

Meanwhile coming back to EPISODE 2

The gal from my school days Kate Monroe, all grown up to be this beautiful woman. I really liked her and I really wanted to be in one serious relationship with her.

We went on many dates, movies and drinks, causal intimacy here n there. (Hey relax I won't say anything beyond this, i understand its private so relax).

The social networking bug had already seized my head and i was into online dating. One fine day I found that mysterious gal from Xavier's College on Facebook!! I was yay!!! So I just sent her a Facebook friends request. (She FCKING added me!! I was so happy!! After almost 2 years I get to add her!!) I could recognize her by just her profile picture. Oh her names Norah.

I looked at her status and it said "in a relationship" and i was like "It's cool" just wanna talk to her n all.....(yeah I that sounded like whaaaaa?)

I waited for her to come online....almost a week later she replies.

We soon began to chat online... Norah and I exchanged phone numbers quickly. I wanted to meet her, i wanted to know her better. She didn't know that i was dating until I told her that my beautiful relationship with Kate was going sour.
I intentionally told a lie to save something which I want more than to cherish something which I already have. (I broke another rule " Never cheat or lie to someone you really like).

I eventually had to end my relationship with Kate because i wanted her to break up with me without me being there for her and treat her like rudely. I couldn't be in a relationship because I've been cheating.

Episode 6

I got a job which was just a 15 min walk from my place (awesome !!!) Working as Social Media Marketing was going great, my office was nearby, had a great romantic life. I was still enjoying my golden period. Norah and I were going on so many dates and i really loved spending time with her. But we never actually got to spend much time together. (We dated for almost 2 years and we went on like just 15-25 dates).

Yeah I know it was hardly anytime together. People kept telling me that you guys look great together and all....I was like yeah she's the "love of my life!"

I was happy.

Happier than ever....

Working in Social Media marketing can be quite cramping up because your always at one place and your world is mostly in one cubicle. (kinda got sick of it) but the other thing was my new gf was quite a nagger and kept telling me that I never spend time with her. (Norah was absolutely right)

I started spending more time with friends from school, jr college, grad college and I just wanted to spend time with them.

One of my very close friend 'Aj' from Xavier's Days shifted to a New Arabia City to earn BIG and was telling me to come in the position for graphic designing and since I had knowledge on that area I wanted to go! I wanted to come out of that box so much! It was my golden ticket to earn BIG.

My focus shifted to my relationship, I couldn't handle long distance, I was really happy on what I have than what I wanted more.....(yeah I know karma hits back in new form)

It was a good opportunity but i had no idea whats coming next.....

Episode 7

The Domino effect can last for seconds, days and even years. The chain reaction doesn't stop...

Early 2009, Internet was booming and Social Networking was the main course of a Sunday meal. Currently, there are around 1.6 billion Facebook users around the world compared to just 31 million in 2009. (Yeah that's a Big Bang).

Nowadays not many people would prefer Internet Dating because its a complete different ball game. (who knows?!? There must be a sweaty fat guy on the other side of the screen pretending to a busty woman looking for some fun....)
So clearly you can understand it isn't a good idea to date some stranger online.

(Well, not in my case. Most of my flings were online based)

During a point of time Facebook was getting too messed up with its new games, invitations to play online games.....(it was becoming Orkut in someways) and having like around 300+ friends on your Facebook profile you would get like around 1000 invitations per day for various games that you have no time for...

So I immediately switched to Twitter, which was simple, easy and neat. By now I have around 60,000 tweets already. (Lol I talk/bitch/nag/complain a lot..... Don't be fooled.. my Social Meter is strong).

A few weeks of Twitter brought me some interesting followers, and interesting woman. (haha I know it took me a while to get to the damn point)

Julia José, beautiful gal next door (She was from another city *sigh*) But she had a very deep dark secret following her.
We exchanged numbers and often we spoke to each other over the phone. Everyday, hours after hours, We spoke about random stuff, love, relationships, movies, food, traveling.... (Yeah full digital "Chance Pe Dance").

I wanted to meet her in person but she was quiet skeptical in meeting some stranger from Twitter. We preferred to keep our relationship open. We dated other people too (people from outside the Internet) So I continued to flirt with her which led to a lot of naughty stuff online (yeah well she was hardcore into cyber sex)

I won't go any further. I hope you know some creepy stuff happens online. (Cyber Sex is not a myth)

Anyways, Julia had to complete her final years in college and somehow even I got bored with all the online dating because I really wanted to date someone in person until I met Kate.

It never ends well with long distance relationships. (Spoiler alert: Even Norah felt the same).

Meanwhile i was having an online relationship with Julia while I was still dating Kate. (Arey! No one gets serious in an online relationship)

I did tell Julia about me going out with Kate. At first I thought she would be okay about it. (why do i have to be always FCKING honest about everything?!?!?). Like most women, she didn't take it well though we defined our relationship to be open. Sometimes emotions can get the better of u.

We haven't spoken to each other since then. I kinda wish I never made that decision by being completely honest her.

Did you really expect me to stop the story here?

Well all I know now is that she's traveling the world and she's become some kind of spiritual wanderer. (at times even I feel I should so the same thing).

Honesty is a double edged sword. It can either save your life or destroy it in a second. The domino effect had just begun....


(episode 8 coming soon)















Monday, October 10, 2011

A Tribute to the Genius

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me.… Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful—that’s what matters to me.” – Steve Jobs

On October 5th 2011, we lost an icon, one of the biggest geniuses of our times, The Zen-Master of Technology - Steve Jobs. He was not only an icon; he was an idol, an eternal source of inspiration, a maverick and a marketing genius. He was the patron saint of entrepreneurs. Sir Isaac Newton once reflected that if his vision extended farther than others it was because he stood upon the shoulders of giants.

As any creative person knows, and certainly those in business will tell you, that the road to ultimate success is often paved by initial failures; as long as they are viewed for what they are i.e. a treasure trove of valuable lessons.

From humble origins in 1976, Steve – more than anyone else – propelled Apple Inc. into one of the world’s best known and most admired consumer electronics companies. This was achieved through a relentless pursuit of innovation, technical perfection and high emphasis on design aesthetics. He inspired a cult-like following for himself and Apple products, many of which bore his signature style.

For 35 years, Steven Paul Jobs stood like a colossus at the global intersection of computers, consumer electronics, popular culture and fine design.
TIME magazine got it right when they called him “Technology’s Great Inventor”. People would wait anxiously to see his amazing keynotes; they would have to go through a huge line to buy the new Apple product because after hearing his speech, they felt that we couldn’t survive without the latest Apple release.

As he once said during his most valued thoughts,
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

We actually liked all his perfectionism because his charisma and enthusiasm would get our attention in a way we could feel he was speaking directly to us, solving our problems, delivering something only we were thinking about. He knew exactly what to do, to grab our attention; in fact that’s what we loved about him.

For some, his philosophy is - what matters most is figuring out what you love to do, passionately pursuing a career in that area, committing yourself to thoroughly understanding it, always going by your own judgment, monitoring how you spend your time, and continually adjusting your activities in order to achieve the greatest happiness possible.

Apple and Steve Jobs were not really making computers or consumer electronics. It manufactured personalized dreams for seven billion human beings. In moments like this there is not much we can say, only thanks, thanks Steve for being so amazing. Rest in Peace.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

FOUR THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO!

FOUR THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO!
There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for all Mobile Phones is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and your mobile will search any existing network in your area to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialled even if the keypad is locked. This works on all phones worldwide and is free. It is the equivalent of 000.

Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: "
If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home,""Call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone."" "Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be thousands of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).Editor's Note: I didn’t believe this when I heard about it! I rang my daughter in Sydney from Perth when we went on holiday. She had the spare car key. We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a mobile phone!'


Hidden Battery Power

To activate, press the keys *3370# (remember the asterisk). Do this when the phone is almost dead.
Your mobile will restart in a special way with this new reserve and the instrument will show a 50%
increase in battery life. This reserve will get re charged when you charge your mobile next time.
This secret is in the fine print in most phone manuals. Most people however skip this information without realising.

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #Ensure you put an asterisk BEFORE the #06# sequence.
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone ever get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back,
but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody done this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.. "This secret is also in the fine print of most mobile phone manuals. It was created for the very purpose of trying to prevent phones from being stolen.""

"Also -ATM PIN Number Reversal - Good to Know !!

If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN # in reverse. For example, if your pin number is 1234, then you would put in 4321. The ATM system recognizes that your PIN number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to the location. All ATM’s carry this emergency sequencer by law.This information was recently broadcast on by Crime Stoppers however it is seldom used because people just don't know about it.
Please pass this along to everyone.

It is a small world...

“It is a small world. You do not have to live in it particularly long to learn that for yourself. There is a theory that, in the whole world, there are only five hundred real people (the cast, as it were; all the rest of the people in the world, the theory suggests, are extras) and what is more, they all know each other. And it’s true, or true as far as it goes. In reality the world is made of thousands upon thousands of groups of about five hundred people, all of whom will spend their lives bumping into each other, trying to avoid each other, and discovering each other in the same unlikely teashop in Vancouver. There is an unavoidability to this process. It’s not even coincidence. It’s just the way the world works, with no regard for individuals or for propriety.”

— Neil Gaiman, English author of short fiction, novels, comic books, graphic novels, audio theatre and films,Anansi Boys, Morrow, 2005

Atheist..

As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a god. I don’t think there is a god, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a god. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different god, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are.

— Ricky Gervais

Life....

Around us, life bursts with miracles—a glass of water, a ray of sunshine, a leaf, a caterpillar, a flower, laughter, raindrops. If you live in awareness, it is easy to see miracles everywhere. Each human being is a multiplicity of miracles. Eyes that see thousands of colors, shapes, and forms; ears that hear a bee flying or a thunderclap; a brain that ponders a speck of dust as easily as the entire cosmos; a heart that beats in rhythm with the heartbeat of all beings. When we are tired and feel discouraged by life’s daily struggles, we may not notice these miracles, but they are always there.

— Thich Nhat Hahn

After a while...

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.” -

Veronica A. Shoffstall

Some random thought....




Reading the writing of someone you know in real life —is like a dagger to the ribs, sometimes, an electroshock jumping in your mess of veins back to your heart, a string of barbed wire around your ankles that you don’t notice until you try to get up and trip your skin all over the string; it’s like missing a step down the stairs and getting that split-half-second adrenaline rush of vertigo and then the breath that comes too fast, after; it’s the most uncomfortable feeling sometimes. Because words are never just words, they’re, they are—bowls, windows, vases, thorns, needles, and it’s like having solid objects hurled at you. Especially when you realize that the words might mean more than just what they are. It’s just: They’re this person’s thoughts on a paper or a page, and you have the irrational, weird thought that it’s just too private, it’s just something not meant to be shared, even if it’s been given freely to your eyes— and it feels like having their blood all over, all over, all, over, your fingers, and it feels like you’ve got their heartbeat in tune with yours now, and also. Also, it feels like dying. And every time you see them, now, every time you speak to them or smile or see them update something on a social networking site, all you think about is that one page or paragraph or sentence they’ve written that’s touched you, that’s grabbed you and never, ever let go, never since, and you can’t look at them the same way ever again, without feeling like you know some terrible secret of the universe that, if you accidentally let slip, might turn and snap all of your bones.
(Or maybe this is all just me, m-e, melodramatic as usual. Remember in elementary school when they told you everybody feels the world in different ways? Well, sometimes it’s like I’ve got synesthesia of the thoughts. Always wondered where I’d place on a Rorschach test, seeing bats out of dots and stories out of nothing.)