Saturday, March 19, 2011

Growing Up...

Growing up...
Your best friend becomes your worst enemy.
Lollipops turn into cigarettes.
The innocent ones turn into sluts
Homework goes in the trash
Detention becomes suspension
Soda becomes vodka
Undies turn into g strings and boxers
Kisses turn into sex
Remember when getting high meant swigging on the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helmet?
The worst things to get from boys were cooties
Your worst enemies were your siblings
Race issues were about who ran the fastest
War was a card game
And the only drug we knew about was cough medicine
The most painful things were skinned knees
And goodbyes only meant untill tomorrow
But to think we all couldn't wait to grow up.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Divine Balancesheet (Via Mani Nanda)


A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates.
Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a
loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether
to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai! God consults
his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silken robe &
gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...

Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a
booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so &
so Church for the last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton
robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven ...'Just a minute,' says the
agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto
Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's
spent his whole life preaching Your Name & goodness has to make do
with a Cotton robe?'

'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God.

'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED'

"It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts.